Black Friday
Black Friday is an event that occurs every year, the Friday just after Thanksgiving. It is well known for being the perfect time for companies to empty out their trashy stock to make room for christmas trash by putting every single one of their products on sale, ''up to ''50% off. However, it is much more important in the eyes of the Negro, and it is known as The Holy Day. It contains some of their most sacred events, such as The Mother's Birthday, and their most important rituals, such as mourning of the negro dead, and massive gluttonous feasts. During this all important, sacred event, negros gather together in temples, under basketball courts and watermelon fields, etc. This is the time when new members are accepted into The Council of Negromancy. The acceptance ritual consists of a test of magical power against one of the head wizards. These intense battles often end with death of some kind, and many watermelon fields, basketball courts and chicken coops are often destroyed by this. Other rituals include memorials of the deaths of high wizards and relatives, where negros will pray to The Mother for their safe passage into Hell. Negro Thanksgiving During this special event, negros hold their own thanksgiving-type event, which lasts from 11 PM to 9 AM the next morning. These feasts include collosal buffets of chicken, watermelon slices, and some small tables of basic-bitch foods like pizza, salad, pasta, etc. Negros will literally eat their fucking heart out, to the point where they vomit all over themselves. Drinks are also served, like Capri-Sun, Koolaid, Hi-C, Sunny D, etc. Late into the dinner, deep fried items are served. These options range from Deep Fried Oreos to Deep Fried Koolaid. After the grease-gorging, Negros are fed several hundreds of pounds of whole, uncooked chickens. Overwhelmed by hunger, the negros rip apart their bodies and consume them. At the very end of the massive feast, the negros rest for several days, many sleeping until Kwanzaa, the celebration of all Negros. The Mother's Birthday The Mother's birthday is actually black friday, which is where this holiday gets its name. Negros all around the world celebrate her birthday for to first 4 hours of Black Friday. They don't really do much, but the 6 Heads of The Council visit the Mother in Somalia for her birthday, where she gets to eat a cake made of chicken bones. She doesn't really care that it is her birthday, but she enjoys her chicken bone cakes. Whitey Black Friday Black Friday for whities is much different. It usually consists of waking up in the morning, after gorging their fat white asses on disgusting dishes like sweet potato pie, tasteless turkey, pies, etc on thanksgiving yesterday. They excitedly run to their 4 seated car, enough to fit the whole tiny ass family inside, and drive to stores like Walmart and Target. They all flood the stores, and rip things off the walls to get their 10% off milk, 20% off television from 2001 and even 1$ off soap, like the fucking jews they are. The jews beat, kick, punch and bite eachother to get their share of the ''amazing ''deals. Once they've left the store, they relish in their 13$ savings, and blow their load at just the thought. Many will also order online, staying up all night to get the first deals, and save up to 30% on the stocked Bad Dragon toys. shit like clothes, electronics, and even dumb shit like cosmetics personal lubricants and sex toys. After this chaos, the whiteys masturbate to their savings while eating leftover thanksgiving food. Black Friday in Africa In Africa, Black Friday is extremely sacred, and from Morocco to Kenya to Namibia, it is known as The Mother's Birthday. In wealthier areas, blacks gather together to pray for their most important relative's safe passage into Hell and they enjoy a small meal of chicken. In the wealthiest areas, they eat nothing at all, to respect those in the poor ass areas of Africa, proving that even Negros are more respectful than you are. They do not do much, unlike niggers in America, but they do hold the same acceptance rituals to the Council, which, in places like South Africa and Egypt, are far, far far more violently, intense and bloody, and they always end in lots of destruction. In Southern Somalia, they fight to the death for The Mother's holy blessing, which supposedly guarentees easy passage to Hell. The winner is actually given the blessing by The Mother herself, and it is unclear if shes fucking with them or not. Category:Negro Category:Better than most of my articles